Tired of people always venting and complaining to me?

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DarkesideeofetheeSun

New member
I have been friends with this girl for over 5 years. At first she was really fun to hang around with but then all this crap started happening to her and I had to help her with her problems. After that, it became constant and the second I meet up with her she complains 24/7. She will find anything to complain about no matter how small it is. Her negativity has drained me of all my life and makes my day worse. It doesn't help that she never lets me talk about anything or helps me with my problems...its always about her and how much her life sucks. I already do the nod and smile thing and try to ignore her but it still gets to me. Do you think she's using me? What do you think I should do? Thanks for your help!
 
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hayleeburge

New member
Talk to her about it. If she simply continues doing what she is doing now, do an intervention type thing. Force her to write a list of positive things in her life when she begins to complain. Every time she mentions something bad, tell her something good. If that doesn't work, obviously point out every time that she complains so she becomes conscious of it. Help her, but don't be too rude about it. That will only give her something else to complain about.
 
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AmlStar

New member
Friendships can be like this and can become strained at times. The example I offer here is a friendship I had for thirty years. In that time period, my friends situations changed a lot as did mine. This changes perspectives without us even being aware of it. Friends can mutate in to acquaintances and influences from their partners is in full measure. Surprise your friend and provide a situation that will grab her attention and cause her to thrash around for a day or two and then come back with a comeback answer, it will take a thought process that will even surprise her. Select a deep question like, ' What do you think of an experience you had yesterday while sitting alone in a quiet room, where you became very silent and were startled when you began hearing a confident voice saying 'Love is all there is' over an over? Change what the voice is saying if you want, but WOW her with what the voice is telling you.
 
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APM

New member
No way around this, girl, you are being used and abused!

If your "friend" only whines and complains about her life and doesn't have the decency to at least ask how your day was, then that ain't no friend!!! This relationship did not started out like this but it will not revert back anytime soon.

You need to stay away from this person. Ignore the calls, try to avoid the places she hangs out at. Do what ever it takes - stay away from someone like this!
Start practicing different excuses. Keep them simple and straight forward.
"I have been working like crazy." OR "I was out running errands and lost track of time." OR "I've just been so busy, you can't believe!" Let her vent a little then tell her you have to go!!! Come up with anything but get off the phone. If you run into her somewhere, keep it brief... Tell her you have to go somewhere. Either way just Go...
Start out with just a couple of days at a time. Then work your way up to a week and so forth. This will not be easy but it will be worth it. The day will come when she will go off about the lack of attention she is not getting, and this is were you want to be. Very calmly and straight to the point tell her exactly what you stated in your question. "It doesn't help that she never lets me talk about Anything... Her negativity has drained me of all my life AND makes my day Worse!!"

The only way this will get better for You is to keep away from her!! And if you ever doubt why you are doing this, think back to all the times that she wouldn't give you the time of day, if it didn't concern Her!!!

With friends like that who needs enemies...

Good Luck
 
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JasonW

Member
Feed a cat and it will show up next week for food. Feed it again and it will show up in three days. Feed it again, and it's your cat. She's not using you. Whatever your issue is you created it.

If it's pissing you off, tell her, otherwise she's gonna keep coming to you to get her fix.
 
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