Vacation time with my 8 y/o son

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Adamknox

New member
On July 13th, my 8 y/o son will be visiting me for 3 weeks and I can't wait. His mom relocated to SD California - after our divorce was finalized - so I don't get to see him very often. In fact, I haven't seen him since last summer vacation... when I took him canoe-ing in a natural spring - with alligators, snorkling on a reef with sand sharks and many other fun adventures. This year I plan to take him airboat riding in the Everglades, visit some other natural springs in central and northern Florida and visit some water parks in Orlando.

I don't get him very often - but I make the best of it, when I do get him.

Any fathers here on MAP - who don't get to see your child often - because of a psycho-bitch of an ex-wife, who felt it necessary to move all the way across the country - in order to keep you away from your own child - for no reason what-so-ever, other than greed and needyness - and to instill pain in your heart - as has been done to me?

PLEASE - tell me your story... I'd love to hear/read it.
 
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spiritual_bliss

Member
My mom left for the first time when I was 4 years old. She came back on and off for my whole life but we mostly lived with my dad. I have to hand it to him, he really stepped up to the plate and took responsibility for us during that time. He managed to raise all three of us with basically nothing. He stayed at home and took care of the three of us without having a job the entire time. Not sure how he accomplished that since I can't even take care of myself without a job. I think it was mostly because of the money his dad left him.

My mom and dad were on and off my entire life and it caused me a little bit of greif. I say a little bit because they were civil with each other, lived in the same town and I was always able to sit down and eat dinner with my whole family through my childhood and teenage years. The stinky stuff didn't really hit the fan till last year when my mom finally ended the divorce. Now my dad won't come to any family event she is at.

I always blamed my mom for leaving for two reasons. One, my dad is the one who always took care of us. Two, my dad filled my head with all kind of blame mom bull crap.

Recently I started a company and offered to involve my dad in the company. I worked with him for a couple weeks. During which time he undermined my relationship with my business partners by telling them details of business deals I was making that they didn't need to know about, by undermining my authority in front of my employees and business partners, by questioning my business strategies and busting my balls for not following his advice. Fact is, I own the business. It's my ass on the line, not his. I'm the general and he couldn't handle following my marching orders. So he informed me that I was an ass hole and he wouldn't work for one.

Oh yeah and he hit my girlfriends older, married with children sister. Not cute anymore. Not cute at all.

I guess the moral of the story here is that my dad whines about being lonely after pushing everyone who cared about him away.

He whines about being bored after being too lazy to pursue anything worthwhile for his entire life.

I love my dad. I wouldn't be the man I am without him. but he's a turd burglar. I don't have to put up with his crap, and until he can stop dishing it out, he's going to have to play a very limited roll in my life.

Don't be that guy Judo Champion. Don't be that guy.

Oh and while you've got your boy you should take him here:

http://coralcastle.com/

This is one of the only megalithic structures created in the 20th century and it's in south Florida. It's an 1100 ton megalithic structure built by one guy with primitive technology. It's pretty amazing.
 
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yodah20

Member
I am so sorry JC. Some people are evil!

I don't see how she could keep you away from your son, unless child molestor or pose a danger or something. You have a right to see your son and i don't see how the courts could allow that.

Have lots of fun with your son!!!!!

I am glad my parents never did that to me or my bro. We did have great times with them despite their often autocratic nature when i was growing up. They did take us on trips.

Only thing now is my bitch of a brother and his gf. who has practically disowned me and my parents. And blamed it all on me because I have alway been uncomfortable around babies/toddlers and i moved away from my then 9 month old niece. So thats it - even though i am in no way a threat to her - I don't hurt anyone - I was called a potential threat, banned from their house and am not allowed there, and neither are my parents. And they don't come up. Even have us blocked on facebook.

Not everyone likes babies, and if left alone I would have developed a relationship with my niece on my own when she got older because i love older children and they love me too. But no - if it didnt happen then they had to try force it. When it didnt happen they said i was a threat and disowned me practically. As I said - psycho.

So yeah. I do kinda know what it is like. Only its my bro and his gf instead of a parent doing it. She's controlling bitch, and he goes right along with everything she says because he lives in her house and she can kick him out on his ass any time. Even said that to him on occasion. So he went right along with her in ostracising me and my parents out of their life. For no reason! For that reason my mom missed her granddaughter's first christmas and her first birthday, and thats something she'll never get back. She'll never get over that.

Please don't be that person either, Angel. Just.....don't.
 
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guardianeadrian

New member
I am NO molestor, nor do I pose a threat or danger to anyone... especially not my own son. I have no police record for drugs or violence, or anything else at all. For God's sake - my job requires a background check every 2 years - and how would I be allowed to work with children, if that were the case?

I don't ever talk to my son about his mom - so he never hears anything negative from me - however, I'm certain his "Psycho Bitch Mom" has plenty of crap to tell him about me.

They don't answer my phone calls or return my messages - instead she has him text me stuff like: I don't want to go to Miami any more, because it's too hot and I'm not looking forward to it - 2 days before "Father's Day" - yet NO call, for father's day or my B-day, from him.

I know it's not him, so I don't even discuss it at all with him. I swallow hard and live on - with a great BIG hole in my heart.

BTW - the ex wife is an attorney - who is very well to do financially - and well connected with judges and such - so you see - taking her back to court would be causing financial hardship on myself and my new wife - not to mention stress, aggrevation, sorrow and heartache, for all that are involved, including my son... NOT the road I wanna travel.
 
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LeeT

Member
LOL you get to see him, as they get older stuff changes, you have contact which is the important thing, just need to make sure you keep it.
Don't diss his Mum in earshot of him. It's his Mum
 
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SilverS

New member
Yeah, see. So there she can't keep you from seeing your son and having a relationship with him.

She does sound like an insane psycho freak though.
 
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lalique

New member
The ex wife had her own practice, here in Miami, owned her own home in Coral Gables, all her family and friends live here in Miami - yet she relocated to SD - about 3000 miles away - where she knew absolutely nobody... Why? Like MOI posted, my son will grow up - and hopefully, things will change - for the better. In the meen time, I will enjoy him - whenever I get the opportunity to do so.
 
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iam_betterthenu

New member
Hopefully, things will work out in the end - but meanwhile, I don't get to see him play sports, school functions, birthday parties, holidays, etc. - In essence - I miss out on most of his childhood, and I can never get that back. Oh well - no use crying over spilled milk... not that I'm comparing my son to spilled milk.
 
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AlexisInfectious®

Active member
Nothing you can do mate but enjoy the time when you do see him. You become a bit like a grandparent, the kids are well behaved and made up to see you and you don't have the responsibility that a live in Dad does. My girls are 19 & 22 and I have a great relationship with them now.
Just takes time mate x

Oh yes, when you actually like your ex-wife, you'll be over her
 
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spinda

Member
I would gladly give up the last 20 years of my life - to have all the responsibility of a live in dad.

As far as liking my ex wife - NO chance in hell - although, I am quite over her.
 
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LauraR

Member
But it's not a deal that's on the table. He's 8 now, find out what he's interested in. Is he on Facebook yet? Video games & online gaming might be part of his life now or soon will be, learn to play them and you can talk & see him most nights. There's ways & means

If you can afford it school events, even if it's once a year a Christmas, even if it's just a weekend. Technology makes this sort of thing real easy

Make it up with the ex and be nice, even if you have to stab yourself with a pencil afterward. It'll make it so much easier. Apologise if you have to, even if you don't believe you need to. They like that
 
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junglej

Member
Make up, be nice and apologize? Doing so may very well cause me another marriage - in divorce. My present wife hates her as much as I do. You have no idea what she's already put us thru... nor will I post it on a public forum.
 
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MarkE

Member
I can relate, JC. My mum was not overly kind about my dad, but not anywhere near to the extent you described in your post. But, the truth will come to light. The only thing I can say, as someone who was sort-of in your son's position when I was a kid, is be yourself and always keep your promises. My dad did himself in when he'd tell us he'd do something and then didn't do it, such as when he was supposed to come to see us. No calls. He'd just not show up.

Be honest (as honest as you can without saying negative things about his mum) with him. He should figure the rest out when he's old enough. I did.
 
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