What are girls supposed to do when guys hit on/say things to them in public

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BeijosBeijos

New member
(& we aren't interested)? This happens to me all the time, but right now it happened again and its always so awkward so I'm asking. Guys scream things out to me a lot, like they say things to me as I walk by them or whatever. Right now I was walking to the cafeteria and some guy and his friend are staring and he and he goes "MMmm Top model right here. Hey baby!" because I'm kind of tall and skinny, but I just ignored them and kept walking. Thats so weird to me. A while back I walked past a whole table of guys and one guy says to me as I walk by "You're beautiful!" and it made me so nervous that I pretended I didn't notice. Its just weird! Sometimes I'll smile at the guys, but then they always come over and hit on me and I'm a nervous person by nature and I feel so stupid and awkward when men hit on me that I don't know, so I ignore them as much as possible. I'm more comfortable with my guy friends that I already know when it comes to dating, not random guys in public.

Sooo.... I'm shy, but - I guess its because I'm considered "attractive" or because I'm Black or whatever, i really don't know, but guys seem to take me ignoring them as me being b!tchy. Thats what bothers me, I'm not a b!tch, I'm just nervous. Some guys even call me names for not responding to them and they always think I'm stuck up.
the guy who called me beautiful SCREAMED it to me, not "said it", thats what made me nervous - I'm not crazy or anything weird.

I always feel like I let a guy down when he meets me because I may look pretty, but I feel like I'm boring to guys I first meet. I never know what to say.
 
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Old'scool

New member
Being intimidated daily isn't something men know anything about, so they are unlikely to see a problem with what you say happens.

I once was at a table full of young women and one man. As SOON as the man left, two other men came over to the table. In itself, not too weird, except that we were all young suburban girls, and they were leather-clad bikers. I'm not exaggerating. The normal female reaction to intimidation is to smile, trying to diffuse the tension, as they say, "no, thanks." The normal male reaction to a smile is to keep advancing, thinking that a smile means she's into them--ignoring the words that are going with the smile. So I told the girls to stop smiling, it's sending the wrong message. As soon as we stopped, the guys went away.

it wasn't mean or anything, just communicating in a way the guys could understand.
 
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Doodlebugjimv12

New member
Learn to appreciate it for what it is - a compliment poorly made. Not being nasty, but it won't be long before guys won't notice you so much. You might think that's a relief, but you might find that you sort of miss it.

You don't have to like it, but learn to appreciate it for what it is.
 
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It's420Somewhere

New member
they dont really think you're a b**ch...saying that tho comforts them and makes them feel less rejected
rejection is a part of life...if they cant handle it, thats their prob, not yours
 
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Jax

Member
I just recently got over my social-anxiety so i know how you are feeling :) It always helped me to have a witty come-back ready, but it doesn't sound like you would be the type of person who would say 'You wish,' back. Silence can be taken the wrong way, so i'd recommend either saying 'no thanks' or 'not interested'. Even if it doesn't make sense with what they just said, they'll get the idea and you can keep on walking.

Remember that their compliments are just that: compliments! Try letting them go to your head a little. It can never hurt :)
 
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