What would you do if you found out your wife was hiding a cell phone from you?

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IsraelSmiley

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what would you do if you found out your wife was hiding a prepaid cell phone from you for weeks, then one morning it rings and you catch her (all she has to say is man i'm stupid for not turning it off) . She refuses to let you look at it knowing theres something on there that would get her more caught. Keep in mind that this woman has been lying to you for five months and you've already caught her hiding other things. I know most people would have already divorced her but i love her and i know there's a great person inside her. She's just been influenced the last six months by the wrong crowd. So i guess the next question is how do you convince her it's the crowd that makes her the way she is now, so she might be willing to give that crowd up. No i'm not trying to pick her friends for her but i can't live with her behaving like they do. I'm not being dirty , i'm desperate, i just want my wife back(the way i fell in love with her) thanks everyone...
 
Keep deceiving yourself. You better wake up from your sleep. This woman is cheating on you and taking you for a fool. Any lady that keeps telling lies can do anything. She can even get you out of her way to be with her lover boy.
 
Maybe it is because you both snoop on phones. I admit it is best to be honest about purchases. My husband and I share computers and phones and to busy to check up on who we talk to. many of our contacts are people we know and no big deal. To monitor our e mails would be boring and time consuming and the same with checking phone calls. Pretty much business, family and friends.
 
This thing about there being a "great person inside" is your denial that she is a chronic (and rather careless) liar. You have to figure out what it is about YOU that is keeping you attached to a dysfunctional person who isn't reasonable relationship material.

Instead of looking at why you are trying so hard to change someone broken, you are looking to try and force a grown-up (in number, anyway) to grow up. That's desperate on your part, and there's something in you that is more comfortable having a partner that ISN'T your equal. She cannot be your equal when you're basically behaving like "daddy" trying to grow up his daughter.

The adult thing for YOU to do now would be: hire a private detective to track her for a few days to establish exactly what her double-life is about and THEN, lawyer up. Place the evidence you gather before her and tell her you are getting a divorce. ... Don't use the evidence to try and have her look at herself and change (as a threat to change). Just quietly exit stage left.
 
This thing about there being a "great person inside" is your denial that she is a chronic (and rather careless) liar. You have to figure out what it is about YOU that is keeping you attached to a dysfunctional person who isn't reasonable relationship material.

Instead of looking at why you are trying so hard to change someone broken, you are looking to try and force a grown-up (in number, anyway) to grow up. That's desperate on your part, and there's something in you that is more comfortable having a partner that ISN'T your equal. She cannot be your equal when you're basically behaving like "daddy" trying to grow up his daughter.

The adult thing for YOU to do now would be: hire a private detective to track her for a few days to establish exactly what her double-life is about and THEN, lawyer up. Place the evidence you gather before her and tell her you are getting a divorce. ... Don't use the evidence to try and have her look at herself and change (as a threat to change). Just quietly exit stage left.
 
Hey buddy can you afford a private Eye for $200.
Best investment you'll ever make you already living in denial anyone can tell it's very painful but it won't get better and turn back to the love nest you remember.
Get your ducks straight and don't be a naive fool.
 
Does she HAVE to hide things from you because you're a control freak? Or is she just inconsiderate and not trustworthy and obviously having an affair or something? It's hard to say without knowing the whole situation. But I would say that your wife is a grown woman who can make her own choices and that you can't be blaming her friends or the crowd she hangs out with. What is she, a sheep? C'mon. She knows what she wants to do and doesn't need anyone to encourage or influence her. If she really didn't want to be doing what she's doing she wouldn't. You have to decide... can you live with her as she is or not? Do you trust her? Don't have kids if you don't trust her! And stop controlling her. Start doing your own thing. Give her total freedom. Stop hounding her. Either she's yours or she's not. The more you press, the more you control, the more desperate and upset you seem the more she'll be repulsed by you and want to get out and do her own thing. Be busy, have friends and a life of your own, leave her be, but obviously be nice to her and easy to be around... she might start to wonder if you're losing interest in her or have something going on yourself because you're confident, cool, composed, happy and easy going and don't care too much about stressing about what she's doing. Not giving her the third degree... not obsessing. Trust me. It will drive her crazy wondering. Pull away a bit, but be nice and easy-going and happy (not pulling away in a "I'm punishing you or playing games" sort of a way) but just not so HEAVY on her... she'll wonder... trust me. Leave her guessing instead of sitting around obsessing, freaking her out and MAKING HER WANT TO PULL AWAY from her jealous, insecure, needy and controlling husband. Trust me, man, it works. People want what's unavailable and aloof. Good luck!!
 
She's a liar and a cheat. Quit trying to change her and walk away.
 
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