Why do most parents complain about being a parent?

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AmbiG

New member
When I became pregnant all I heard were horror story's about how demanding & difficult babies are, how the relationship with your partner goes down hill, your looks go (especially women) & children are a non stop drain on your life.

I kid you not, I was wetting myself, my Husband and I thought we had made the biggest mistake of our lives. Luckily our daughter is the most gorgeous beautiful thing that has happened to either of us. Dont get me wrong there are days when I'd to give her away (moments really) but she has given us sooo much joy. She is amazing!

My question is - why do you hardly ever hear about the good side of parenting? Are my Husband and I just really lucky because our daughter sleeps 12 hours a night & we only have one child?

If we have 2 children is that when the work really begins?

I'd love to hear from parents who love being parents.
 
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awkwardlybalanced

New member
Your friends did a good job - they made it seem worse so that you were relieved, instead of painting a rosy picture and letting you find out it was much worse!

Babies are a labor of love. They are demanding and labor intensive to care for, but it is really quite wonderful. My first baby was a dream - and she didn't sleep the night and was not easy at all. But remember that some parents have to contend with colic - it is the most helpless feeling in the world. My second baby had it, and it was the first time in my life where I considered banging my head against the wall so that the world would disappear for just a bit. I felt like I was going insane. Now they do give kids drugs to help with colic, but back then, docs just told you to grin and bear it. Mine told me to get out without the baby, but I couldn't leave him with anyone else, because I was scared they would lose it and hurt him. It lasted 4 1/2 months. If you ever hear of someone who has a baby that has colic, go to their rescue with a calm demeanor, and never tell them the hell you went through. That is the greatest gift you could give a mom.
 
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MoreMozz

New member
I don't know anyone who does that. Everyone has "Oy, kids!" days but if you're surrounded by people who complain about being a parent, I'd look around for new friends. They don't sound like the cream of the crop.
 
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horse

New member
I loved being a parent and never complained about having children or having to sacrifice for them. I was born to be a father and was glad that I could be huge part in their lives and got to journey through life with them.
 
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tammyd

New member
How old it your child. Most parents aren't complaining about "babies." Toddlers are a different story. I love my 3 year old twins with all of my heart. They are my life. But they are difficult to handle. They are joy most of the time and I love being a mom it is the most rewarding and wonderful thing I have ever done. But it is also the most frustrating, and time consuming thing I have ever done.

People tend to talk more about the bad things because those are the things that stick out the most. Everybody knows that babies are sweet and loving and trusting, so we find a need to tell people about the bad things that many parents are too afraid or ashamed to mention.

I don't usually tell all the bad things. I try to stay positive so that I can remember on the good things. I try to focus on the good days and the good things, but when you are dealing with cranky toddlers that are upset and demanding for no reason at all its hard to see the sweet loving child under the screaming demanding misbehaving child.
 
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BobPickles

New member
I'm not American but I've moaned when I've had to go to work after zero sleep , had to listen to 2 kids arguing over nothing for the millionth time , been up all night with a child being sick whilst husband snores, tripped over toys and suffered the ultimate pain of standing on a Lego brick that my child hasn't put away. I love my kids to death but when you're sleep deprived, and trying to juggle work and home, whilst also trying to be a good mum then it's easy to moan .
 
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HippieTreeHugger

New member
I love being a parent. I think the majority of people that have kids do. But it's hard work and exhausting. And yes, it gets MUCH more difficult after one. Lol.
 
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DJ'smama

New member
I guess we complain so much about it because we just get frustrated with the bad things and we just want an outlet to vent our frustrations. Even though the good vastly outweighs the bad, it's the bad things that other people hear about the most. I love being a mom. It is the most rewarding, most fulfilling thing I've done in my life. I don't complain nearly as much as I used to when I was getting an average of three hours of sleep a night. I'm expecting my second one in March, and it's all about to start all over again. I think I'm going to try and do better not to complain so much this time and just be grateful for the great blessing that it is to be a parent.
 
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lillilou

Member
Parents will often try to one-up eachother, either with how impressive their children were, or how difficult their children are. I think its because you really dont get any kind of progress reports, or mother of the year awards, etc. besides say a cute homemade card/hugs.
 
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Dry_rubber_Chicken

New member
Americans are taught to be very selfish, therefore a child isn't a blessing, it is a set of responsibilities and lost pleasure in a diaper. I loved being a father so much.
The sleeping 12 hours a night is a bit unusual.
I always tell people that limiting themselves to one child is socially responsible and also alot more responsible to the child. Having two children means splitting resources in half.
I mean why be a regular mom to 2 kids when you can be ultra mom and ultra dad to just the one?
Bear in mind, mom and dad is not the same as best pals.
I guess in summation your just not spoiled and stupid like most parents.
Get the hell out of our country at once!
 
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IDWaN

New member
So because a handful of people told you bad things, that means MOST parents complain about being a parent? Uh, no. All of my friends adore being parents. Sounds like you need to find a new circle of mommy friends.
 
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tammyd

New member
How old it your child. Most parents aren't complaining about "babies." Toddlers are a different story. I love my 3 year old twins with all of my heart. They are my life. But they are difficult to handle. They are joy most of the time and I love being a mom it is the most rewarding and wonderful thing I have ever done. But it is also the most frustrating, and time consuming thing I have ever done.

People tend to talk more about the bad things because those are the things that stick out the most. Everybody knows that babies are sweet and loving and trusting, so we find a need to tell people about the bad things that many parents are too afraid or ashamed to mention.

I don't usually tell all the bad things. I try to stay positive so that I can remember on the good things. I try to focus on the good days and the good things, but when you are dealing with cranky toddlers that are upset and demanding for no reason at all its hard to see the sweet loving child under the screaming demanding misbehaving child.
 
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