How would you describe people who stay in bad relationships and do nothing...

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GeenaLeed

New member
...about it but complain? Would you describe them as being strong because they can and have endured, or would you characterize them as weak because they don't have the guts to admit the truth - that they are being used and are not being loved?
(When I used to hang in there, COMPLAIN and deal with the problems, I used to think I was strong and could withstand any circumstance....until I was told I was weak {by a female friend}. Now that I don't deal with drama at all and can walk away from a bad situation, I've been told I'm weak/fragile because I don't stand in there and fight {by a man who wanted me to....}) What the....??
 
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turtle

Member
Well, at some point in their unhappy marriage, there was a window for them to get out, but they missed the opportunity for some reason and just decided to stay, probably for the kids. As the kids got older it became harder and harder to leave out of guilt. Some people think keeping the family together is important, even with the constant bickering and occasional separations. One or the other of the couple becomes the scapegoat and the other is the peacekeeper and vice versa. During this relationship it is necessary to have a trusted friend or family member to depend upon, but it does get old when that's all there is to talk about or listen to. At some point the person has to take responsibility for their lives and make a decision to stay and stop complaining or leave. Leaving takes guts after many years of trying to make it work. It's the only thing to do.
 
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crazy_ol_hippie_radical

Member
good question , liken it to those who stay for the sake of the kids and continue to be unhappy , and there are those who don't want to cause pain to the other by breaking up , vs breakingup so they can be happy but then get told they are being selfish for not sticking it out and trying harder to make things work
 
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Honesty

Member
Complaining accomplishes nothing. It is up to the person experiencing a problem to find the solution; whether it be confronting the other person about it or changing their own attitude toward the problem. My perception of complaints is that when we complain, we are stealing from our own fortune. Only by seeking to raise the life condition of those around us do we create true value in our relationships. So, if we must confront someone about a problem we're having with them, we must do so with compassion for their core value and not to demean or belittle them.
 
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sarahO'Riordan

New member
well theres differant views on this ..eg.if a partner is being cheated on,,violantly abused and the other partner refuses to change or get help thats when you walk away..people can easyly say your weak because they have never been in that situation.and dont know the the importance of "better for worse"..i would not advise "living "with a violant person .but to seperate and get help..if after that nothing has changed thats when you say enough!..there are walkers and there are talkers..its no good saying "oh they push me around " and stay there .you have to have the courage to do the right thing in that situation and to seperate like i said above .doesnt mean to say your giving up it means your being the better person and encouragind help before throwing in the towel.so thats a fighter !...but you may have to give more detail about what the man done or whatever,..wek and fragile is a person that will b ok with being mentaly controled amongst other things and never acting on it ,they would rather stay in fear rather than having th guts to take positive actions.like the above ..it all depends whats going on..i always know what i mean but cant sometimes type it how it should lol
 
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