My husband is depressed and won't go to a doctor? (sorry i rant)?

[AmandaGlidden]

I love my husband and I want to help him, he is depressed to the point that he feels exhausted as soon as he wakes up, he needs help but doesn't want to go to a doctor or take any other kind of help, he just lays around the house and doesn't want to do anything but feel sorry for himself. We are having a child soon and he says he is happy about it but seems not to care to much about it, I had to do everything from painting the room to getting the crib together. How can i help him get to get better and be happy about life again?

 

[beeb1]

You can't force someone get help. And unless he gets on meds, the depression will only get worse after your baby is born... My husband is depressed too and it took about 2 yrs of me saying it (and one final "I've had enough of your sh*tty attitude" talk) before he got diagnosed and put on meds. Its been months since then and he's so much better. We never even bicker now & he's so positive. He has his days, like anyone else but id take those days over his depression any day! Tell him to get help or get out. A baby should not be raised in such negative surroundings.

Ps. Beware! Depression is genetic so if people in his family has it & he has it, there's a good chance your child might too.

 

[oldadvice]

He needs to see the light (the reason he is here on earth) and stop feeling sorry for himself. He is here to love and help other people with their problems. He can start with his own family.

Sounds immature and weak. Wake him up to reality with tough love......Good luck

 

[elisha99]

Sorry to hear about the problems you are having.

You are in a very difficult and frustrating position because much as though you want to resolve the situation, you cannot do this alone without the help and cooperation of your husband who you clearly love very much.
Many men find it difficult to talk about their problems and there may be problems relating to you which are too deep rooted or painful for him to discuss with you yourself.
This is where professional third parties can help.
Encourage him lovingly and gently to make an appointment with his doctor, and make sure you go along as well, either at the same time or independently.

However, if he is still negative, here is what you should do:

* Tell your spouse that you are worried.

* Accept your role as spouse and not as your spouse's mom. Your spouse is an adult and capable of making personal medical decisions.

* Tell your spouse that you want him/her to see a doctor because of your love.

* Ask if you can set up an appointment for your spouse to see a doctor.

* If your spouse still refuses to see a doctor, there isn't much more you can do other than to share your feelings of concern, fear, and love.

* If you believe your spouse's refusal to seek medical or psychological care is life threatening, then you need to get professional help in getting your spouse the help that is needed.

* Consider seeing a counselor on your own to help deal with your mixture of feelings. It is important that you take care of yourself and accept your own feelings of frustration, anger, etc.

What You Should Not Say or Do

* Don't nag.

* Don't set up an appointment with a doctor without your spouse's okay.

* Don't have arguments about this issue.

 

[Jeff]

Usually I recommend against ultimatums.....but in this case the only thing that is going to get him better is going to come from a Doctor.

Make an appointment for him to see a doctor (tell the doctor what the appointment is for) and then tell him that if he loves you he will go to the appointment...........make him understand, without actually coming out and saying it, that this is it, no second chances.