what do you think of my weird story idea! sureal and wierd? is it as good as...

JulesWinnfield

New member
Sep 18, 2011
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...donney darko.? a teen gal is grilling a hanburger when suddenly a monster comes out of it and tries to attack her butt she hits it with a beer bottle and runs inside. then when she gets inside she realizes her entire family is gone.

rhe monster tells her through the window that there in the hamburger. so then she goes back to the grill and looks at the hamburger and sees them then suddenlie shes on the hamburger standing and its really dam hot and feelz like hell

and the girl she tells them to all leave. they family say they can't because they're too small for the house and then suddenly a big fat guy comes up to the grill and eats all of them and tgen they go into his stomach. it is really gross in there, but there's a big bLob of ice cream and they decide that even though it's gross it tastes pretty good and they'll eat it. and the girl asks her family how the monster come out of the hamburger and they tell her that life is full of mysteries.

THE END
 
No offense, but that made no sense whatsoever. Keep working on developing a beginning, middle, and an end.
 
It definitely needs some development, it's a bit hard to follow and not much information is given.
 
It's just a bunch of rambling. This probably won't make a good story, but that's just my opinion.
 
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